Today I put on a shirt that makes me look pregnant, thanks in part to the five pounds I've gained (all stomach fat, apparently) since quitting our gym membership a few months ago and the fact that I'm a stress eater. Thank you bad economy!
This shirt plays up the deception though. It has the tight fit through the chest and the loose spread around the stomach. A classic maternity look. But it was $5 at Target and it was white. Need I say more?
Anyway, normally when this happens I take off the offending garment at once and scrounge in my closet for something else. Nothing is worse than having someone wonder, "Is she . . .?" when she decidely isn't. But today the you-look-pregnant look was working for me. I decided to blame this odd phenomenon on my two pregnant sisters--one of which is currently dilated to an EIGHT and huffing and puffing through labor pains as I type. I know she is huffing and puffing because we had a lengthy conversation yesterday about the merits of active breathing during hard labor. None of this "go-to-your-happy-place-and-relax-breathing." No way. Not for that job.
So here I sit in my fairly comfortable chair, wishing I could be there with her, but the thirteen-hour drive and responsibilities with my own children (whom I could also blame for the bulge around my middle) keep me here.
Love you Em. Happy Huffing. Soon you will be skinnier than me. ;)
The Dating Experiment by Elodia Strain
1 month ago